You Hate Something You Have to Do: Transforming Stress into Empowerment

We all have things we don’t want to do but have to. The resistance felt about doing those tough things creates problems like procrastination, and outright refusal, sometimes resulting in life threatening circumstances. Some common stories about people struggling with this are, not wanting to see a doctor when they have issues, not mending a broken family relationship or in my case trouble getting to and being happy at work. 

“I don't want to go to work.” The implication of that statement insinuates that if I go to work, then I am being forced to do so. I would think, "Ah well, I need the money." Income helped motivate me, but still, that type of  motivation is forcing me to work. As if I have no choice. I would also think “if I call in sick, my boss may not give me a raise”. Now I have another force making me go to work. These motivations would get me to come to work, but under the notion that I don’t want to be there and am being forced by financial and social pressures.

I would go into work pretty grumpy, with little patience for the day's challenges causing more internal stress and frustrations. So recently I quit my job. I thought “great, now it will be easier to work for myself”. That did not happen because my mindset wasn’t right about working. I start the morning with, "I don’t want to get up, I want more sleep." I generate all these forcing motivations, especially the money motivation one. I need money to live and pay bills. I need more than ever to motivate myself or risk watching all my savings dwindle to nothing along with my confidence and self-esteem. When I quit my job, I was hoping the pressure to survive would motivate me to figure this stuff out so here are my tools to do so. With a combination of actionable steps and research, this is going to be my process.

First, write out the three reasons why I don't and do want to do something.

Then take the three reasons I want to do it and transform the statement from “I don’t want” to “I do want.” With this, I will eliminate the forcing undertone. I realized the importance of this subtlety when I learned of an interesting experiment with mice.

Mice love running wheels. Other experiments have shown mice would find a planted running wheel in the middle of a field and run on it despite there being a field to run in. But they don't like running when it is forced. A study was conducted where they measured the stress levels of mice when a mouse was forced to run versus a mouse who voluntarily ran.

One mouse was locked on a running wheel connected to another wheel where a mouse could run freely. When the free mouse would run, it would force the other mouse to run. The mouse that was forced to run had higher levels of stress despite the common knowledge that exercise reduces stress hormones in the body.

Now let’s consider the compounding stressors one might accumulate from their job. Their job is not fulfilling, it is stressful, they don’t make enough money, ect. Add to this the perspective that they are being forced to go to work is like pouring salt into the wound. Transforming the “I don’t want” to “I do want to” will reduce the stress, making it easier to get past the mental barrier the mind has generated.

This process I’m outlining will allow you to do things that brought you discomfort like going to work and make them automatic and rewarding. Take the three things you hate and use them as weights to grow the muscles in your mind. The part you’ll be growing is called the Anterior Midcingulate Cortex (aMCC).

“The [mACC] is smaller in obese people; it gets bigger when they diet. It’s larger in athletes; it’s especially large or grows larger in people that see themselves as challenged and overcome some challenge. And for people that live a very long time, this area keeps its size.” — Andrew Huberman, Ph.D.

([Drossman, 2005 | Gut](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15831894/)) Anterior Midcingulate Cortex. Highlighted in green, the anterior midcingulate cortex (MCC) is a region of the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC). The anterior MCC is also known as the anterior midcingulate cortex of the ACC (aMCC), caudal ACC, dorsal ACC (dACC), and cognitive division of the ACC (ACC-CD). It is adjacent to the anterior perigenual ACC (pACC) and rostral ACC (rACC).

The location of the amcc allows it to be associated with the rest of the brain easily. A hub of communication that is often coactivated with the rest of the brain.

“We propose that the aMCC’s connections allow it to integrate information from multiple brain networks to drive goal-directed behaviors. In other words, its position allows it to participate in the willed control of our behavior” ([Paus, 2001](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7381101/#R139); [Parvizi et al., 2013](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7381101/#R137)).

Maybe some of the things you hate about work are that a coworker always leaves a mess in your area, or there is a major project that you are stuck on and you have to ask for help and don't want to, or the equipment you use is broken, and you can't start your job until it is functioning again. Hopefully, with step one, you're already in the mindset you are choosing to go to work, so now choose to take these problems head-on to build that part of the brain. So next time you experience something similar, you are more experienced and prepared to deal with them. In a calm, friendly fashion, ask the coworker to clean the area that you share, listen to the feedback and work together for a solution. Ask an experienced coworker for some assistance in getting started with the project hurdle. Acknowledge the repair is going to take some time before work can be started, let the manager know it will be some time before the task can be started because of the necessary repairs. 

With whatever the challenge is that you are dreading at work or in general. If you put effort into solving it with the "I choose to" attitude, you will be rewarded with a sense of gratification which ties directly into the next tool and perspective I use to get through uncomfortable situations in life.

The area of the mind that processes pleasure also processes pain. That part of the brain wants to remain in homeostasis between pain and pleasure. Dr. Lembke in her book Dopamine Nation uses an analogy of a teeter-totter from a kid's playground. When in homeostasis, the balanced position the mind wants to stay in, the teeter-totter is horizontal or level to the ground. If you experience pleasure, like eating a piece of chocolate, the teeter-totter tips to the pleasure side. Because the mind wants to be in homeostasis, it self-regulates by tipping the teeter-totter to the pain side an equal amount. When this happens, you may feel subjective feelings like restless, irritable, unhappy, and wanting to feel that dopamine hit again from the chocolate. But if you wait long enough, the feeling will pass, and your teeter-totter will return to its balanced state. 

Now, this also happens in reverse; if you put yourself through some type of painful experience like, for example, my personal favorite cold exposure, the mind will create a sensation of happiness and pleasure to counterbalance the pain just experienced.

Dr. Anna Lembke describes a disturbing study conducted on a dog in an era before animal rights would prevent such experiments from occurring. In this study, the scientist connected the dog's hind paws to a current, observing the dog's explicitly frightened state. The dog's eyes dilated and bulged, and it thrashed about with total fear.

After the shock harness was removed, the dog moved slowly around the room, exhibiting stealthy, hesitant, and unfriendly behavior. Its heart rate significantly increased above baseline during shocks and dropped well below baseline after some time out of the harness.

As the experiments on the dog continued, its reactions began to shift. During shocks, extreme signs of terror were gradually replaced by less intense reactions, such as expressions of pain, annoyance, or anxiety. The dog whined instead of shrieking and ceased urinating and defecating.

Upon release from the harness, the dog exhibited a fit of joy, running about, jumping on people, and acting very friendly. Interestingly, as the exercise persisted, the dog's heart rate increased less and less during shocks and fell further below baseline than the initial response, indicating a more relaxed state.

Continuing the experiment, the dog became less reactive during shocks, and the excitement after release from the harness increased both more and lasted longer. Anna suggests that this experiment could demonstrate that the more we apply pressure to the pain lever, the more and longer we may experience pleasure. Additionally, in reverse, the more we stimulate the pleasure button, the more we might experience pain.

Conclusion: Transforming Stress into Empowerment

Embarking on the journey to transform stress into empowerment requires a deliberate shift in perspective and a commitment to fostering a positive mindset. Here are actionable steps you can implement to overcome the difficult things you must do in life:

1. Identify and Acknowledge Feelings:

Begin by acknowledging your feelings towards the tasks you find challenging. Identify the negative emotions associated with them and be honest about your reluctance.

2. List Reasons:

Write out three reasons why you don't want to tackle a particular task and three reasons why you should. This exercise helps in understanding the underlying motivations and aids in the transformation process.

3. Transform "I Don't Want" to "I Do Want":

Change your mindset from reluctance to willingness. Transform statements like "I don't want" to "I do want." Eliminate the forcing undertone, reducing stress and making the task more approachable.

4. Learn from the Mice Experiment:

Reflect on the experiment with mice – understand that tasks are more rewarding when approached voluntarily. Force can induce stress, hindering the positive effects of the activity.

5. Build Mental Resilience - Grow the aMCC:

Use challenging tasks as weights to grow the muscles in your mind, specifically the anterior midcingulate cortex (aMCC). This region is associated with goal-directed behaviors and grows larger in individuals who see themselves as challenged and overcome obstacles.

6. Address Workplace Challenges Directly:

If your difficulties stem from workplace challenges, such as messy workspaces or daunting projects, approach them directly. Choose to face the problems with a calm and friendly demeanor, seeking solutions collaboratively.

7. Understand the Pleasure-Pain Balance:

Recognize the interconnectedness of pleasure and pain in the mind. Embrace the idea that pushing through discomfort can lead to greater satisfaction. Maintain a balance in the teeter-totter of pleasure and pain for overall well-being.

8. Apply the "I Choose To" Attitude:

Consciously adopt an "I choose to" attitude when dealing with challenges. Recognize that your choices contribute to your growth and development, fostering a sense of empowerment.

9. Practice Patience and Persistence:

Understand that discomfort is temporary. Practice patience and persistence in navigating through challenging situations, knowing that the rewards of overcoming difficulties often surpass the initial stress.

10. Reflect on Personal Growth:

Regularly reflect on your personal growth. Celebrate small victories, acknowledging the positive changes in your mindset and approach towards challenging tasks.

By incorporating these steps into your life, you can cultivate resilience, empower yourself to face difficulties, and ultimately transform stress into opportunities for growth and achievement. Remember, the journey towards empowerment begins with a shift in mindset and a commitment to choose your path consciously.

References:

1. [Drossman, 2005 - Gut](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15831894/)

2. [Paus, 2001 - Nat Rev Neurosci](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7381101/#R139)

3. [Parvizi et al., 2013 - Cortex](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7381101/#R137)

4. [Additional resources for further reading](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7381101/)

5. Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lembke.

External Sources:

- [Dr. Andrew Huberman and David Goggins: Using Willpower to Slow the Aging Brain](https://www.nad.com/news/dr-andrew-huberman-and-david-goggins-using-willpower-to-slow-the-aging-brain)

Huberman, Andrew. “How to Build Willpower | David Goggins & Dr. Andrew Huberman.” [YouTube.com](http://youtube.com/), uploaded 3 January 2024, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84dYijIpWjQ.

****Practical Tools To Hack Your Brain For Success - Dr Andrew Huberman**** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoutTY8XHSc